My daughter’s first train ride

Today, as we were walking towards the play area in the mall, there was this small choo-choo train going around.

The moment Dhivi saw it, she was amazed.

She has seen trains before, but mostly on YouTube. She watches Miss Rachel and Miss Katie, and they sing about choo-choo trains, make the sounds and do the actions. So when this little train suddenly went right in front of her eyes, I could immediately see that she recognized it.

She almost wanted to run towards it.

Of course, we stopped her because it wasn’t safe. We decided to take the kids to the play area first. They walked around, saw the other kids, explored things and enjoyed themselves.

There was also something about today that I didn’t think much about at first.

I had forgotten my phone in the car.

Normally, I would have gone back for it. So much is connected to my phone, and when we’re out, I like having it with me. It keeps me reachable, even to Vyshnavi if we happen to get separated somewhere, and it’s just one of those things I’m used to always having on me.

But for some reason, today I just thought, you know what, forget the phone. Let’s just go inside.

So I left it there.

And maybe, without realizing it, that changed the whole experience for me.

There was nothing in my hand to check. Nothing pulling my eyes away for a few seconds here and there.

I was just there.

With Vyshnavi.

With Deva.

With Dhivi.

And strangely, when I left my phone behind, it felt like the world opened up to me.

Maybe that’s why I noticed everything that followed so clearly.

After they played for a while, Vyshnavi and I decided, okay, let’s take them on the train.

We got the tickets and somehow managed to fit all four of us into this tiny cabin. It genuinely felt like a miracle that we fit.

Before the train started, everything was normal. Dhivi was just being herself.

And then the train moved.

I was sitting there looking at her.

Her whole expression changed.

Her eyes opened wide. Her mouth opened. She had this pure “Ohhh… wow” look on her face.

I know that expression. She does it sometimes when something surprises her.

But this felt different to me.

For the last couple of months, a train was something she had only seen on a screen. Something people sang about. Something that went “choo choo.”

And suddenly, she wasn’t watching one.

She was inside one.

It was moving. Things around her were moving. She was experiencing, in the real world, something that until today had only existed in those songs and videos.

It felt like I was watching that little transition happen right in front of me. Something from her small world on a screen had suddenly become part of her actual life.

I kept looking at her face.

And as a father, my heart just melted.

I don’t know how we calculate wins as parents. Maybe nobody considers something this small a win.

But for me, today was a win.

I won today.

Just for today, I felt like I had done something that my daughter could actually relate to and genuinely feel happy about.

It wasn’t anything huge. It wasn’t some expensive experience or something we had planned for weeks.

It was just a little train in a mall.

But I understood what was big to her.

And I was there to see it.

Maybe Dhivi will remember this train ride. Maybe she won’t.

But I think I will always remember that face.

And while I was watching her, there was another little experience happening right on my lap.

Deva was sitting with me.

Dhivi was sitting opposite me, so I could see her expression clearly. With Deva, I was trying to record a video, so I turned the camera around to selfie mode.

That’s when I noticed his face too.

His experience of the same train ride was completely different.

Because of the way we were sitting, Deva and I were facing the other direction. The train was moving forward, but from where he was sitting, everything he could see seemed to be moving backwards.

And his face almost looked like he was trying to understand:

“I know I’m on this train… but why am I going backwards?”

It was this completely genuine, confused, surprised little look.

Same train.

Same few minutes.

Two completely different experiences.

Dhivi was looking ahead, experiencing the excitement of finally being inside the choo-choo train she recognized from her little world.

Deva was on my lap, looking backwards, trying to make sense of this strange new feeling of the world moving away from him.

For both of them, it was probably one of those first truly surreal experiences of their little lives.

And for me, it was just a few minutes of watching my children discover something for the first time.

Thinking about it now, forgetting my phone in the car almost feels like a small gift.

Because I wasn’t looking down.

I was looking at them.

I saw Dhivi’s face when the train started moving.

I noticed Deva trying to understand why everything was going backwards.

I noticed that two children sitting just a few feet apart were experiencing the exact same moment completely differently.

And I noticed what all of it was doing to me.

Maybe if I had my phone with me, I still would have seen those things.

But today, I was completely there.

Even now, thinking about it, I feel very calm.

She enjoyed it.

He experienced it.

We were all there together.

It was just a tiny train going around a mall.

But today, it meant a lot more to me.

Today, I won.

And I don’t want to forget it.